Bullying

There is a girl  in you're class,

at work,

or even in your family,

that is considered a loner.

That poor human being sits by herself at lunch,

doesn't talk to anyone and lets her true feelings be kept bottled up inside her.

Never being accepted by anyone accept,

if she was lucky,

her parents.

Every morning, she would:

Shove her ear buds in her ears,

sit on the bus alone with her hood up,

walk to school in the pouring rain, staring at the ground the whole time,

ignore the people who could help her,

and pass off every stupid remark that was made about her.

She may have not been the smartest person.

She may have been very shy.

She could have been mentally challenged.

She may have been the smartest person in the entire school,

but you ignored her to keep up your reputation.

I've been there.

I have been the girl.

I have  been the bully.

I understand how both sides work.

I am never going back.

You may say "how?"

People are there to help, that's all I have to say.

There is one person is the school,

work,

or community,

that can help that person!

I am proud to say,

that I have helped and been helped.

Touch and be touched, concept.

She has feelings.

Help her or maybe, by all the stress,

she could give up the fight against teenage bullying.

3, 2, 1.

She is gone.

Suicide due to bullying is 100% preventable.

Don't tease those girls who are sitting by themselves.

Sit with them.

Stop bullying.

In the night....

The sky was pale blue, and the trees dark green. The only sounds I heard were the birds and the distant gush of the river. Not a cricket chirped nor did a frog croak. I lay motionless beneath the rising sun. My sleeping bag warm from the heat she released. The freezing morning air stung the back of my throat. The oak tree above us blocked out the sun, little specs of light shone through the branches and paraded on my face.

Last night, she thought of the idea to sleep under the stars. We sat for hours under the twinkling specs. We talked of the spring, of the summer. We stated favorite movies, books, and music. The time went by slow and the minutes waited for us. Our one year anniversary lingered just a few hours away. We spent the hours staring at the stars on that patch of grass overlooking the gorgeous river. The slow moving water let us speak and be heard. Her eyes were silver from the light of the moon. I stared deep into the center of her soul. The time was right. We lay frozen, lips touching for minutes. Then we pulled away.

That night was over. She lay beside me asleep. Her head pressed against my chest. Her legs intertwined with mine. Our toes rubbing against one and others. I brushed her hair over her forehead with my fingers. Her hair was soft and long. She began to move and blink her eyes. She finally had awoken.

Glistening in the morning sun, were her beautiful silver eyes. Her hair blew in the breeze. "Hey" she said very quietly. I responded with a subtle "Good Morning" gesture from my hand. I gripped her around the waist and pulled her close to me. Her touch was gentle. I could tell she barely got any sleep. "What time is it?" she said, yawning. "No idea" I replied. She giggled and ran her hands through my hair. The expression on her face was a mix between tired and excited, as if she were a child waking up on Christmas morning.

I took the time to stare into her eyes once more before we had to rise from the make-shift bed and go inside for breakfast. I pulled her even closer, just enough that I could whisper into her ear. I held her there for a moment and kissed her cheek a few times. "Annie." I said. "Happy Anniversary." I held her close for a few moments longer and kissed her cheek again. When we pulled back, I kissed her lips and hummed the song that played when I first kissed her. I quietly sang:

"I am forever yours, faithfully" - Journey

The Girls Reflection

Photo Credits: Makenna Schumacher 2011

At last, a calling from the seas that pulled her close to her once beloved ocean. The gush of water slapped its icy palm against the sand and ran it's shivering might over the girls feet and around her ankles. The sky was pitch black and cloudy. She could feel him around her. His breath rotted the air as he heavily breathed in and out. The stench of his drunken body made her feel nauseous and faint. Her, weak in the knees, as his holier than thou ego, pulled her into a well known depression. That forgotten loner feeling trickled into her cured mind and threw her back into her suicidal thoughts. A unknown feeling of being entirely alone blasted into her heart and dragged her spirit towards the icy water.

He grabbed her arms. You can almost feel the heat as his cold hands pressed up against her warm body. They stood there for a matter of moments before the girl yanked  her arms out of the devilish embrace. Her eyes turned to the dark color of the ground around her, black and cold. Anger and loss of protection felt her through as she tried to run from the devil of a man. He sprinted towards her gulping back the vomit and blood that was twirled in his stomach. The demonic possession  of the stranger had begun.

She ran beneath the dock that was only a few foot steps away. When she has successfully hidden herself, she glanced out to the beach where the devil and her had stood moments before. Scanning the horizon briefly made her realize, he was gone, out of sight, nowhere to be found. A wave of fear hit and her and made her hyperventilate in the cramped space. She vomited into the foamy water. Her whole body shook in fear and nervousness. Seaweed dangled down from the bottom of the dock and lay on the girls face. A sudden movement in the distance caught her attention. She turned to look...... inches from her face was the man.

His arm was now bloody and looked as if it had been stabbed several times with a thin blade of some sort. Vomit dripped all over his large body and blood now pored from both is arm and his mouth. His eyes were not hazel like they had been before, they were a fiery red and black. A cold mist came from his mouth and blew onto the girls face. He breathed like a dog, in out, faster and faster with his tongue hanging from his jaws. He fell to his knees next to the girl.

A cold wind blew underneath the bridge so powerful that It knocked over the girl into the water behind her. The mist sprayed up onto her face and into her mouth. He body jerked back and forth across the sand, as if the wind's hands were pulling him from side to side, up and rapidly back down again. She tried to scream for help but the words were ripped from her mouth and swept away with the wind. She prayed under her breath.

"Dear Lord! Save my soul!"

Her prayer was answered when a large wave crashed under the dock and pulled the man and her into the water. A whirlpool was formed and swirled underneath the large dock. The deviled man was sucked into it. She held on to the beam underneath the dock and screamed loud and long. The wind whirled around her and she was losing strength. She was out of options and let go of the poll. Into the whirlpool she went.

She awoke two days later in a pale white hospital room with thousands of needles attached to her. In front of the bed stood a long tall mirror. She rose from her bed, ripping the needles from her arms, and walked to it. In the reflection stood a devil with eyes and red as lava. The fight wasn't over, she thought, for the devil was now in her.

~ Dear lord, save her soul ~!

Oceans Depth

The blue shimmery water expressed a low light that rippled across the side of the large boat. It swam through, crashing and receding away from the ship that moved fast enough in the water to create a wind that was strong enough to make trees topple over. The bow of the ship pierced the air and whistled with the wind that blew. The sweet but salty smell of the sea wrapped around all the senses. Mists of ocean water sprayed quickly into the air and up onto the deck.

The cold sea air stung the back of my throat as I stood at the tip of the bow. Staring down into the brilliant blue water made me feel as if I was flying. I stepped up higher on the rail and climbed over to the other side. No one could stop me. I sat down on that front tip of the bow and crossed my legs. A bird manifested his presence with a deep low croak beside me. I acknowledged the small creature and returned to staring down into the depths of the ocean.

The horizon finally turned a deep red as the sun set to rise on the other half of the earth. It was only a matter of moments before the whole ship would be encased in complete darkness. A black dome that would not be taken away until early tomorrow morning. I stared at the bird. His feathers were ruffled from the wind. Its head was bobbing as he walked back and forth across the side of the boat.

"Why stay here? Be free." I told the little bird. "You can fly. While I am stuck here on this ship, you can fly away." I still stared down at the water and followed the shinny reflection of the fish that still glowed in the red to purple light. My heart was with the sea now. The bird walked closer to me and shook his feathers. He hopped a few steps and leaped into the air. He took off on his wings toward the dimming horizon. I watched him fly away and swoop down to the water multiple times. Had he understood what I had said?

I stood back up and climbed back over to the other side of the rail. I was back, trapped in the prison cell of the rails until the ship docked in America in 2 weeks. There I would resemble the bird and fly off into my own sunset, if I could. Today is my eighty forth birthday and I am ready for my departure of this world.

In those waters, the depths of a thousand years of  life lay patiently for a change. I could not institute a change, but I could make my presence clear. I jumped of the bow to become one with the water, forever, into the oceans depth.

The Cold

Photo Credits: Makenna Schumacher 2011

A chemical sting rises out of your chest and into your throat. A burning scalding feeling rushes throughout you're sinuses. You're eyes itch as if they were as dry as a desert and fall back into you're sick head. A ray of germs poor from your mouth with every breath you take. In and out, germs fly onto others making the spread of the cold faster and faster by the second.

For every young adult under the age of eighteen, they do not have the option of staying home, resting, and loading their bodies with Vitamin C, D, and protein to fight of the illness. They must drag their germ filled heads to school and take tests, while spreading the nasty virus to every other student they come in contact with. Those germs become worse and worse as they travel from student to student. Sufferers of all ages are faced with worse symptoms than the person who caught the bug in the first place.

I lay in bed on a Monday morning staring at my white ceiling. The piece and quiet gave me the comfort of midnight on the night sky. Nothing to bother me while I lay, conscious, on the soft magenta bed sheets. The alarm rang on my nightstand. I flung my arm over and hit the top button, snooze. Letting out a little moan as I forced myself to sit up, A sharp jagged pain splintered through the back of my head. It rolled into my throat, up into my nose, and fell back to my chest which whistled as I breathed in and out.

I stood up and the pain happened again. I thought that it would be easy to shake it off. I would just drink a little glass of water and I would be better. When I took that next step, an itch ran up my throat and I coughed loudly into the air. Oh no, I thought, it's the cold.

Beach of Memories

Morning mist rises off the woven land. Fog hovers in the air just out of our reach. The moon disintigrates into the neon blue sky. The pale expression on the water swirls into small innocent waves of sea slime and salt water. Birds chirping and seagulls calling echoed off the cove just behind where I stood. The smell of sea air and burnt campfires scraped at my nose. The ground warm to the touch, as if the sun had heated the earth within a matter of seconds. Particles of sand, shells, and stones crawled their way up my feet and in between my toes.

Joise May, with her little body, ran along side of me, picking up sea shells and rocks as we walked along the waters edge. Barnick trotted in and out of the water, leaving his small foot impressions in the moist sand. I stared down at the little sea creatures that slithered across the sand. Jelly fish, crabs, and snails were the only things I saw upclose. Out in the middle of the water, there were boats and fish, but they were to hard to catch a glimpse of. Papa Martinez walked slowly behind us. His pants were wet and seaweed covered but he didn't mind it one bit. Dressed in his fishermans cap and shorts he walked along with Mama Martinez. Her holding his free arm and laying her head on his shoulder, and him placing small shells waterside.

Clouds began to roll in from across the wide ocean. Rain hammered down from the black skies and indented the sand beneath. Papa Martinez grabbed my little sisters small body and placed her on his shoulders. I grabbed Barnick and ran after them. Hurdling as fast as we could to the car over sharp rocks and small streams, we watched as the ocean sank farther and farther away. It was as large as a post card the last time I saw it. I knew we would be back in a year or so, when we came back to visit Papa and Mama Martinez next summer. I still cried and rest my head on Mama Martinez's shoulder.

"Don't worry punkin. We will come back tomorrow."

The King of Enteque

There I stood, on the balcony where my father had died earlier that day. Like grandfather before him, was hung by the leader of his troop for treason during combat. My mother was standing beside me, drenched in the blood of her son, my brother, who was killed today, for murdering two of his fellow soldiers.

The sun was almost set on the land that I knew. Its bright and golden fire was dieing into dark charcoal. The wind picked up and a chill of Arctic air blasted the back of my neck. My dress was torn and bloodstained. I smelled of death, the death only one could experience if they were there that lonesome night.

He was gone. Burned with the rest of the men that did not obey their orders. The soldiers were already gone, marching off with the leader that murdered his own men. Their torches were the only light in the forest. Their footsteps the only sound in the night. The smell of burning flesh still filled the air as if a cologne that could never be covered. This was his body I was smelling. Only hours ago, this was the man that kissed me before he had fled the palace. My husband.

My life flashed before my eyes. I saw my husband, lying in the bed reading my son a story. I caught a glimpse of our wedding. I saw my mother and father holding me when I was just a child. I was next on the line of people to be executed. For I was the one person Captain Reynolds should have killed. I started the war. I declared the beginning and now I cannot declare the end. Its out of my control. I was that girl who burned that building down, so many years ago. I killed the King of Enteque.

Freaking

Buzzing, screaming, fainting, falling, down into a mythological hole of dispair that seemed to appear within a matter of seconds. Arms rapped around your chest, sucking the good clean air from your small body. You reach out for someone, anyone you thought was there to help you. There is no person there to save you from the black pitt below.

You lose hope.  Rumors, Secrets, and Lies are spread from grade to grade labeling you as a loser, slut, jerk, and a bitch. You are trying to figure out you're true friends and who you can trust. Unfortunatly, you are like many humans in Middle School. You crave to start over. Sad for you, but there is no reset button.

Crying, yelling, chanting, calling, will never help you. You let out your emotions one way or another, but those emotions won't gain you respect. Listen to me when I am saying, Calm down. Middle school is full of the problems that make you feel as if you're the cement people are stepping on. High school is no different. All you have to know is that there is always a silver lining, a light at the end of the tunnel of our youth. That light could be colledge, getting married, having kids. That light could also be right in front of you, waiting for you, with the friends you can acctually trust.

You are the only person that can control this light. If you don't, you wont recieve that reset. Starting over can be as simple as pressing that button or even just changing you're attitude. People love you. Everyone has one person in life that cares about them. Find that person and those rumors, lies, and secrets will not matter anymore. Embrace the side of you that you have never known.

Freaking out will get you knowhere but down in that hole that some people can never escape. Pretend it never happend and move on with your life. Love you're life as is. Don't end that struggle because those challenges will help you in th future. Climbing....

Declining

Marbles rolling down a steep slope that in reality never ends. I was the farthest marble behind. I began a slow start, meaning that I would basically never make it to the front of the pack. I was the loser in the back and never really made it farther than one millionth on the list of people rolling down. I was the loser.

Making a mistake and butting heads with another marble only knocked you farther back up the hill. Clink! Your back to where you were hours, days, or even months ago. Befriending marbles that were along side you resulted in them helping you move faster down that hill. While, unfriending marbles behind you ended in you getting stabbed in the back and having to restart again.

For the people who I, myself, have unfriended, I am sorry. You pushed me farther back because of the actions that I have committed. I wanted to roll faster and faster like the rest of you, but I guess I wont ever. Do you ever feel out of place? Of course, everyone does at one point in their life. Whether it be the first day at school or a day without a friend to keep you company. You all have been there and that's where I am now.

So, just as anyone else, I still roll down the long hill of life. I still have friends and I still have my family. Other marbles still roll on and will always stop me from going on. I try and keep going but sometimes I cant. I push and shove others to get what I want, like a baby wanting what the other baby has. But, In the same, I am just like you, like everyone else in this world, in fact. So live your life without me, I don't care, just go on rolling and I will do the same.

What is love?

I held in my hand a mirror. This mirror was the mirror that held my thoughts of my self pity. I was looking at the girl who was confused about love. Of course,there is no handbook and there is no rules. Does anyone truely know what loves means? From my point of view, love is what is between a married man and woman. Does this mean that when I say I love you to someone, I dont mean it?

I love him, I told myself. Like the worlds around mine, My heart was telling me one thing, and my mind another. For which should I listen to? My heart. It’s never lied to me before. My head has though, many times. I was confused, Stuck in a trap pulling me down into despair. Give me a sign.

All of the sudden, I heard a car door shut from outside and the annoying doorbell ring. He was coming over today to take me to dinner, my first date. I dropped the mirror and ran down the two flights of stairs to the front door. The disturbing thought about love still rattled in my confused mind.

There he stood. He wore a black tux with a red tie. He seemed taller, well put together. His eyes sparkled against the light from the sun that was setting on the horizon. I asked him to step inside. My heart was beating to the rythm of his fingers tapping on his pant leg. A rush of burning heat raged from my head to my toes. I flipped my hair to nudge it off.

Again, that unwanted thought popped into my mind. What is love? Are these butterflies part of it? What about my heart? Is that part of it? I was lost. I forgot he was even there. I turned to the mirror and stared at my relflection. Who is that girl? Is that me?

He stood behind me and looked at the mirror too. His hands were resting on my shoulders. I dropped my head to hide my tears. He turned me. His hands wiped away the tears. I just kept crying. He pulled me close and I wept like a hurt child.

I had ruined the night. What else do you expect from a 14 year old girl? Courage and strength? Nope, not in me. He held me there for at least an hour. All I could do was to stare deep into his eyes and find the feelings. The feelings that would solve everything. We ended up not going on the date. My heart had overthrown my body and I was to lost in my emotions.

Finding the love was harder than I thought.

Love the way you...

Photo Credits: Makenna Schumacher 2011

She lay down on the floor next to the fireplace. Her body was curled up inside of a blanket, for which, she brought from upstairs. The fire's light reflected off of the glass and glowed on her frail face. I couldn't help but stare at the back off her head and wonder what feelings were twisting threw her little body.

 My mind was blown when she turned toward me and unwrapped the blanket. She was wearing the shirt. The WWU t-shirt that I gave her when we were just 16. Even though we have loved each other since we met, I have always known that she is the type of girl who just doesn't throw away what you give her. Around her neck, she wore the necklace that she had left at my house that Christmas Eve.

I slid off the edge of the couch and lay beside her. My arms curled around her like vines around a fence post. I squished underneath the blanket and curled my arms around her stomach. I felt her heartbeat. It was slow and relaxed. She breathed in and out. I kissed the back of her neck and she rolled over.

"Tyler, I have something to tell you." The look in her eyes was a mix between happy and scared.
"What baby?" I asked. She was trembling. I was scared.
"Tyler, I love you, so much. I would love to spend the rest of my life with you. When I look at you, my heart skips a beat. When I am with you, like now, I hardly can say anything. I have wonderful news. Tyler...I am pregnant."

My jaw dropped to the floor. This was not like the time when we were young and foolish. This was real. The beginning of our lives together, a beginning of an eternities connection. I knew it was time for me to do what i have been waiting to do for 7 years. Luckily, I had the box that would change everything in my back pocket.

"Annie. I am so happy!" I hugged her tight in my arms. The first thing I did was rub my hand across her small belly, thinking, there is a baby in there.
"Babe, I have been waiting to ask you this since the moment you sat with me for hours while I was crying."

Thats when I lost it. The words had melted into tears and escaped through my eyes. I grabbed the small velvet box out of my back pocket. I sat up and got on one knee. "Annie Marie Bennett, will you marry me?"

I could see the tears welling up in her sparkling eyes. She didn't hesitate. With no stutter in her voice she said "Tyler Andrew Roberts, I will, yes." I placed the ring on her left ring finger. I kissed her and held her tight in my arms. She was crying tears of happiness. Soon to be Bride and expecting mother, Annie Marie Bennett, was now mine forever.

The Next Class

One twist in a normal Friday made a girl happier than ever. The air was cold and the wind was slow. He led her outside to kidnap her from the unfortunate bordom of the day at school. With nothing to do and  nowhere to go, they stood alone in the colorful nature of the forest. With the supsense of being caught surrounding their warm bodies, they snuck deeper and deeper into the bright woods.

They were talking, just talking, listening to the sound of each other's voices. Echoing in the distance were the sounds of the rivers and streams, trickling threw the wilderness that lay just next to the school. The birds chirped quietly as they flew across the brilliant blue sky. The sun was placed high on the horizon and beams of yellow light struck the earth beneath the canopy of trees.

She sat down next to him on a small cement bench next to a small stream. Her hair was drifting threw the air and resting on her cheeks. His eyes were set deep in hers. Their souls were intertwined  in a melody of love. Their heats were beating as one, not two. Thu-thump. Thu-thump. He leaned in closer, so did she. The sounds stopped.

Their lips met. The spark flew from them burning through the crusted earth. Sparks flew to the rivers, to the seas, and even to the moon which set invisible in the sky. They flames bursted threw the sky, past the stars, to heaven.

Their kiss only lasted a matter of moments, but it meant the world. Their love was spread from heart to heart, lifeform to lifeform. The heat was overwhelming. His face was red wuth a fire of love and hers a dark pink that had risen from their souls. Time was almost brought to a hold.

The silence was broken. The school bell was over signaling the end of their lunch period. Unfortunate for her, they had no classes together after lunch except for science seventh period. She wasn't upset when they parted. She thought to herself "Only fifty minutes until the next class."

The Glass

Photo Credits: Makenna Schumacher

I stared at my reflection in the glassy mirror. My eyes were not the same bright color as they were before. My face seemed to droop and fall like a dead flower. The wind blew softly on my face and carried my hair with it. I gazed at the faces beyond the window. People were smiling, drinking, laughing away the sad moments in life. Their joy brought me farther and farther down.

I walked up the street beside my apartment. I figured that if I kept walking, the sadness would rub off on the dusty sidewalk and spill into the sewer. From there, it would be taken to the dark abyss of time and never return to my cold lonely body. I was lost in the world that was filled with hope but for some reason, I had none. My mind was set on the fact that I would never be the person I wanted to be and that I would live my life being a follower, a loner.

Being a writer, I had very little friends. I had the neighborhood kids and the girl down the street, but no true friends. I never had sleepovers, parties, or even dates. I would always focus on my writing, a new level of devotion. The girls at school would laugh at me and tease me. The boys would never even speak to me. I was off in my own world in that little corner of the room. The teacher called it "Your Corner." She would say this while snickering under her own breath. It was the gateway to myself.

When I write, it makes me feel as if I am larger than life. I run across prairies, valleys, and fields. Swim through rivers, across lakes, and through the sky. I escape into my own land and be free. I end up falling for my imagination. I wont ever escape. Thats why I am so shy. My imagination controls me and makes me who I am, the loner.

As I sit on the front porch of my building, watching the clouds roll past and listening to the cars drive by, I dive into my imagination. I am that girl sitting on that porch on your street, stuck in her imagintation, happier than ever. Thats the girl for whom I saw in the mirror, the glass.