The Many Quotes of a Jerk

"I will do anything for you"

Does this include helping with homework, singing with me for extra credit in class, respecting my boundries and being emotially there for me? Apparently to you, It doesn't even come close. You promise all these things and say all these wonderful things expecting I wont remember or they wont actually happen. I am a sensitive, naive, young girl and when I hear something like that, I take it seriously. You just say it to get something from me.

Here is some news: It's not going to happen.

"I'll be faithful."

That is a big "YEAH RIGHT!" You've done it before. Why not now? How can I trust you if another person in this world doesn't trust you enough to stay with you? Good questions, I know. If you can answer any of these without saying "That was then and this is now" or "I would never do that to you", then you might be worth it but if your answer has anything to do with the "other girl" or how it was a "mistake", then you aren't. You weren't faithful by choice and that choice was yours.

Uh Hello?

I am clear as day. I exist. I live and breath just like you did those many months ago when I was all you seemed to think about. I was in your life and still am, that is if you actually let me be a part of what you care about so much. I was like the little baby fish in the creek that didn't know whether to swim against the current or go with its light flow that increasingly became stronger as time went on. That creek turned to a rush; a rush of tears that tore my heart apart every single time I saw you.

It wasn't like I was obsessed or "in love" or lusting you and only you, but it hurt that you could play me like any other girl. We had something. We may not as of right now, but we still had something and that cannot be ignored at this point in time. You know and I know that you were the knight that swept me off my feet and threw me onto your Stallion and kissed me as we rode off into the distance. The spontanious gesture held true to me that I was something more than another fish in the sea. I was the fish, the target, the bulls-eye, the gold medal that you wanted by your side so greatly.

I may be lost within what those days held to me, but I cannot look at another man the same way I look at you. I was Rupunzel and you climbed my hair but instead of reaching me, you got tired couldn't hold on and let go without a fight. That fight was worth it but you and your self centered muscles seemed to not want to climb but just jump and run off to find another tower to climb. That is you, but this is me and I don't want to be part of your game anymore.

To my disfortune, I must continue on loving who you are and used to be. Goodbye.

It Doesn't Matter.

It doesn't matter who you are dating, what your reputation is or what kind of clothes you wear.
It shouldn't matter if you are in love, what people think of you and what your personal style is.

It doesn't matter what you like to do and what makes you happy.
It shouldn't matter what you are interested in and what gives brings you bliss.

It doesn't matter if you have a big house, a car or all the money in the world.
It shouldn't matter if you are lucky enough to be exposed to wealth.

It doesn't matter who you are, your personality and what your future may be.
It shouldn't matter who you are, the way you act and the type of person you want to become.

It doesn't matter if you get everything you ever want, handed to you.
It shouldn't matter if you are fortunate enough to be given these things.

It doesn't matter your religion, your polical views or your own personal problems.
It shouldn't matter if you have your own morals, rules and difficulties in life.

It doesn't matter who you share your deepest darkest secrets with.
It shouldn't matter who you tell anything.

It doesn't matter who you like.
It shouldn't matter what your sexuality is.

It does matter that people are being bullied everyday for being themselves, expressing who they truely are.
It should matter that they are people just like everyone else.

It doesn't matter to you.
But it DOES matter to me.

The Boy Who Likes Me

Look at that boy. Aren't I just lucky?

That greasy gross boy is unbelievably yucky.

He grabs my hand and thinks he's all stunning,

but all he really does is make me flee running.

He isn't a man, but he says he's in love.

I'm sad he's that boy that looks like a dove.

When I said that I liked him, I meant just as a friend.

Except the second text I wrote, just wouldn't send.

I tried and tried till the message sent. SCORE!

Then, Here comes gross lazy knocking at my door.

I must've lead him on, be accident of course.

All that pushing and shoving must be the source.

He smiles like a creeper, when he looks at me.

When I tell him to stop, he denies all my pleas.

I guess I do like that mouse of a man,

but becoming his girlfriend really WASN'T my plan.  

A Bad Day

Apparently, One good day is too much to ask for. You wish for a single day in a year that has barely started yet, but hasn't started off to the best of its ability. Even though, people tell you that you have the choice to make your day better, How are you going to make a day better when you feel as if your insides are trying to punch through your skin, a close relative died or one of your best friends stabbed you in the back so hard, that you lost sight of what reality really is? Those simple but common things break us down and make us into monsters of society.

Do you understand that someones feelings can get hurt with every word you say? I bet you don't. The first instinct of some people is to comfort the person or persons, who's day has melted into a puddle of tears. That isn't always the best thing to do. Just showing a concern for the person who has been hurt and letting them know you care is probably the best thing you can do, because I honestly wouldn't want a bunch of people coming up to me and screaming "What's wrong?" in my face. Then again, there are those inconsiderate lifeless boys who just want to get a laugh out of their friends and will try and put you down. I really hope you know that they are only doing it to make themselves look all macho and tough. Its called being a douche and its common in men (Boys!) who are cocky as hell. They just want a rise out of you but the best thing you can do is sink your face back into your book and put in your headphones. IGNORE THEM. Also, Ignore those snobby loud girls who may sit behind you. Sure, they are badmouthing random people, but they only do it to make themselves seem superior.

I just want to make clear though, that these "snobby" girls aren't always the stereotypical cheerleaders. They could be anyone! They are the ones who no one likes, but everyone hangs around because they are either rich, are friends with attractive people or, to guys, have a nice ass. These are the people who throw backhanded compliments, give dirty nasty looks  to people they have never talked to before and make their put-downs public, through facebook, twitter or just talking to loud. I am not singling anyone out in this. BUT, this message is to all the girls who do that, "SHUT UP!" Understand that you can hurt someones feelings with every word you say, even if it is behind their back to people who don't even talk to that person.

A little advice from me: When you have a bad day, single yourself off from people. You can talk to your best friends about it if you really want, but don't make it a huge scene. No one likes attention whores. Don't completely cut yourself off from the people at school, but keeping away from the people who would tease you if they saw you crying stops drama and may make your day just a little more calm and peaceful. If the bad day started the day before, wear some comfy lazy clothes to school. Tight jeans and flowery uncomfortable shirts, metaphorically, hold in all your emotions. One day of letting yourself go, wearing no make-up, hair in a pony tail and wearing slippers to school will let you feel a little more relaxed and wont bring you that much attention. Honestly, just take that bad day as a lesson because for every few bad days, there is always a really good one to follow.

Love is all you need. You may be having a bad day, but don't panic. There is always a light at the end of that tunnel.

The Boy Doesn't Know

The tension grew as I made my way haistly through the front door of the long classroom. My short dress clung tight to my legs as the breeze blew my hair back, past my shoulders. A blast of hot air hit my face as I crossed the center of the room and my face turned a bright pink. I quickly shuffled to my seat and pulled out my phone as a distraction. I gave myself time for my face to blend back to its normal color before looking up for him. I scanned the classroom and as my eyes neared his seat, he turned around to look at me.

Just a second. I only stared for a second, but he caught my eyes and my faced rolled out in a flush of red and I turned back down to my phone in my lap. That feeling that he may or may not be looking at me, left me worried that I would do something wrong. Knowing myself, I would probably drop my phone or end up messing my hair up when trying to look "sexy" as I flipped it back. Which means, having to think about every second like it is life or death. That was my only way of getting out of that small classroom without making a complete fool of myself.

It wasn't like I was ignoring him. It was like he was ignoring me. Not one word was spoken between us within the last three weeks. There was nothing I could do. Confronting him would be like going up to your last boyfriend, who cheated on you, and telling him you still love him after all he did to you. It is the most difficult thing a girl, at my age, could do; Besides acctually doing something that would make me more nervous than ever, like performing a speech for an audience of a million. My reputation and my sanity were on the line and it was an either/or situation. I didn't want to give up either, but I felt it would be better to talk than to ignore.

I looked up once more. He was talking to that cheerleader girl. That one "special" cheerleader with the nice ass, gorgeous boyfriend, big house and millions of friends. The kind of girl I would never stoop so low to be. The jealousy set in at that point. He was basically making it obvious to me that we probably weren't ever going to talk ever again. I am fine with it. He could have at least said that he didn't want to talk. It was awkward as is.

The clocked spun faster than I thought it would have. The bell rung so loud it startled me and I quickly tried to pack up my things. I was too late though. He had already walked on by and found one of his sports buddies. I missed my chance and stood there waiting for another opprotunity to arise, but it never came. Still, the only thing on my mind is confronting the loser that broke my heart without even saying a word. For now, I just hope there will come a day that the "douchebag" of a guy he is pretending to be, will wear a nicer side and realize that he broke my heart. For now, I am lost with that feeling that I am the loser and not him. BUT, for now, I also know I am the better person and that all guys these days are like this, I just need to find the right one.

I have been busy writing songs these past few weeks so please check out my videos and subscribe!! <3 I hope you like them!

Lost in the Moment by KennaMaireSchu
Make your Move by KennaMarieSchu
Watch and Stare by KennaMarieSchu
Lost by KennaMarieSchu

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