The tension grew as I made my way haistly through the front door of the long classroom. My short dress clung tight to my legs as the breeze blew my hair back, past my shoulders. A blast of hot air hit my face as I crossed the center of the room and my face turned a bright pink. I quickly shuffled to my seat and pulled out my phone as a distraction. I gave myself time for my face to blend back to its normal color before looking up for him. I scanned the classroom and as my eyes neared his seat, he turned around to look at me.
Just a second. I only stared for a second, but he caught my eyes and my faced rolled out in a flush of red and I turned back down to my phone in my lap. That feeling that he may or may not be looking at me, left me worried that I would do something wrong. Knowing myself, I would probably drop my phone or end up messing my hair up when trying to look "sexy" as I flipped it back. Which means, having to think about every second like it is life or death. That was my only way of getting out of that small classroom without making a complete fool of myself.
It wasn't like I was ignoring him. It was like he was ignoring me. Not one word was spoken between us within the last three weeks. There was nothing I could do. Confronting him would be like going up to your last boyfriend, who cheated on you, and telling him you still love him after all he did to you. It is the most difficult thing a girl, at my age, could do; Besides acctually doing something that would make me more nervous than ever, like performing a speech for an audience of a million. My reputation and my sanity were on the line and it was an either/or situation. I didn't want to give up either, but I felt it would be better to talk than to ignore.
I looked up once more. He was talking to that cheerleader girl. That one "special" cheerleader with the nice ass, gorgeous boyfriend, big house and millions of friends. The kind of girl I would never stoop so low to be. The jealousy set in at that point. He was basically making it obvious to me that we probably weren't ever going to talk ever again. I am fine with it. He could have at least said that he didn't want to talk. It was awkward as is.
The clocked spun faster than I thought it would have. The bell rung so loud it startled me and I quickly tried to pack up my things. I was too late though. He had already walked on by and found one of his sports buddies. I missed my chance and stood there waiting for another opprotunity to arise, but it never came. Still, the only thing on my mind is confronting the loser that broke my heart without even saying a word. For now, I just hope there will come a day that the "douchebag" of a guy he is pretending to be, will wear a nicer side and realize that he broke my heart. For now, I am lost with that feeling that I am the loser and not him. BUT, for now, I also know I am the better person and that all guys these days are like this, I just need to find the right one.
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