What is love?

I held in my hand a mirror. This mirror was the mirror that held my thoughts of my self pity. I was looking at the girl who was confused about love. Of course,there is no handbook and there is no rules. Does anyone truely know what loves means? From my point of view, love is what is between a married man and woman. Does this mean that when I say I love you to someone, I dont mean it?

I love him, I told myself. Like the worlds around mine, My heart was telling me one thing, and my mind another. For which should I listen to? My heart. It’s never lied to me before. My head has though, many times. I was confused, Stuck in a trap pulling me down into despair. Give me a sign.

All of the sudden, I heard a car door shut from outside and the annoying doorbell ring. He was coming over today to take me to dinner, my first date. I dropped the mirror and ran down the two flights of stairs to the front door. The disturbing thought about love still rattled in my confused mind.

There he stood. He wore a black tux with a red tie. He seemed taller, well put together. His eyes sparkled against the light from the sun that was setting on the horizon. I asked him to step inside. My heart was beating to the rythm of his fingers tapping on his pant leg. A rush of burning heat raged from my head to my toes. I flipped my hair to nudge it off.

Again, that unwanted thought popped into my mind. What is love? Are these butterflies part of it? What about my heart? Is that part of it? I was lost. I forgot he was even there. I turned to the mirror and stared at my relflection. Who is that girl? Is that me?

He stood behind me and looked at the mirror too. His hands were resting on my shoulders. I dropped my head to hide my tears. He turned me. His hands wiped away the tears. I just kept crying. He pulled me close and I wept like a hurt child.

I had ruined the night. What else do you expect from a 14 year old girl? Courage and strength? Nope, not in me. He held me there for at least an hour. All I could do was to stare deep into his eyes and find the feelings. The feelings that would solve everything. We ended up not going on the date. My heart had overthrown my body and I was to lost in my emotions.

Finding the love was harder than I thought.